Someday When You Leave Me I Bet These Memories Follow You Around

“Memory gives moments immortality but forgetfulness promotes a healthy mind. It’s good to forget.”
— Hannibal

If you have watched or read The Fault In Our Stars, you would have probably heard of the fear of oblivion. Let's be honest, we all crave attention even if it's just a little. Who wants to go through life unnoticed? Not matter how much you can deny it, you must admit you feel nice when you get acknowledged.

Often we live our lives for the sake of others. Or maybe it's just me Often so we live in the past, keeping hold on memories which brings us joy. Or maybe again it's just me

Why do we do that?

I have no idea what goes on in my head most of the time which is why I kept a blog to keep track on my train of thoughts. Today for instance, I was submerged in my notes trying to stuff everything I can in 3 hours for a test when suddenly I recall a memory from a year before. Have that ever happen to you before? Recalling random memories out of no apparent reason. There are some memories that will be with you for eternity. Those moments have obtained immortality.

In my blog I randomly pour out thoughts, however in real life when I meet people I subconsciously avoid talking about myself. I do pour of random thoughts but none are relevant to who I am. Why am I more open in a public blog where everyone can read but I am more reclusive to the people around me? Perhaps I can just randomly type here without worrying about what other people may react.

Perhaps that was the reason I met so many Summers and no Autumn. Ever so often I don't talk about myself or trying to find out more about the Summers and just talk random thoughts on daily matters. Now I know why you are so frustrated sometimes.

Denial and Isolation

Anger

Bargaining 

Depression

Acceptance

This may have been one of my most messy post. My thoughts are scattered everywhere. In short, I am still harboring doubts on acceptance. Deep down inside I still hope Summer will become Autumn.

“Wishes of one's old life wither and shrivel like old leaves if they are not replaced with new wishes when the world changes. And the world always changes. Wishes get slimy, and their colors fade, and soon they are just mud, like all the rest of the mud, and not wishes at all, but regrets. The trouble is, not everyone can tell when they ought to launder their wishes. Even when one finds oneself in Fairyland and not at home at all, it is not always so easy to remember to catch the world in it's changing and change with it.”
― Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making

Keep up with the change else the world and everything else will just leave you behind. That is a reason why things and people are always changing. Nothing is meant to remain the same forever. If everything remains the same and nothing happens, we would still be living in caves now. I don't like when people and things change before I could accept it. More so often I cling on to the way things are and hold on to those memories. Perhaps I fear oblivion more than solitude. Can I survive being alone or being forgotten?

 If you have read everything up to this point, here are pictures of food to show my gratitude

As odd as it may sound, I am not suicidal. I just like doing random things for random reasons.

I think I'm going to take some time off this blog and finish up all my novels before the exam season is upon me. Please don't miss me. When I say that I meant please miss me and beg me to write more because I secretly want people to read my blog and learn more about me and in return empathize with me and perhaps one day I will meet Autumn

Good Night Peeps!