Everybody Here Wanted Something More

"ap·a·thy ˈapəTHē/ noun lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern."

The efforts I place in making a present for someone shows how much that person means to me. If I can't make it as nice as I wish to I will ensure the content is something that person really wants. This is when I feel I need to be more selfish. I often spend most of my time or money on other people rather than myself. Perhaps my understanding of people is based on empathy. Even though I like to see how happy and joyful people get when they receive my present, deep down inside I always want someone to do the same thing for me. I want to receive a present as meaningful as the ones I make. Because to be honest every time I get a present for my birthday it is usually something I don't want

Okay perhaps I shouldn't complain so much. I know myself and to be honest unless you have been stalking my blog ever since forever it is quite difficult to find out what I want. That is also the reason why if I ever want something I usually get it for myself rather than wishing for someone to get for me. I am the most difficult person to get a present for if I must admit myself. Life is similar to (500) Days of Summer. There are a lot of instances your expectations do not even come close to reality. Perhaps you thought you know someone well and that person meant a lot to you, but you might not be as important to her as she is to you.

Okay perhaps I am not so okay as I thought I am. Maybe after so many years of doing so much for others, I just got tired.

This is one of my favorite present. It don't have to be fancy. And to be honest it doesn't serve much practical use but it just shows how meaningful it is. I love stars. This is the sort of present I secretly desire deep down inside. I always want someone to give me something which shows how much they know me and my obsessions.

Okay maybe I am still clinging on the hope of getting 1989 album which amplify my disappointments

Okay like I always say it's the thought that matters. Getting something by all means is way better than getting nothing and gets forgotten.


November 2014 is a month where I have a lot of random thoughts to blog about. I try to display empathy but all I get back is apathy. People are confusing sometimes. In most cases, the one thing most human desire above all else is companionship. Some people do not mind having nothing as long as they have someone in their life that understands them well. I think that is why I keep watching back how to train your dragon again and again this few days. I crave for the bond between Toothless and Hiccup.

"Amobarbital Drug
Amobarbital is a drug that is a barbiturate derivative. It has sedative-hypnotic properties. It is a white crystalline powder with no odor and a slightly bitter taste. It was first synthesized in Germany in 1923."

Chemistry is so cool. There is a chemica call sodium amytal that induce a person to tell the truth. In movies you see people use truth serum and stuff like that. IT ACTUALLY EXISTS. I think I see how people interact as chemical reactions. By understanding the chemicals perhaps I might understand people. Or maybe I just want to learn to make meth and get rich like Walter White.

So yup November edges closer to an end and December is creeping up on us. Perhaps when November ends so is my writing phase. Oh wait there is still December where I will blog about what happen this year and what to wish to expect next year.

Aside from the 1989 album I secretly want Hansel and Gretel by Neil Gaiman and also The Sleeper and The Spindle by Neil Gaiman and Soul Eater vol 22 and 23

Okay putting everything aside. I am thankful for everything I have received so far. Thank you to everyone and I really do appreciate the thoughts and efforts in the presents :) We should always be grateful and I am thankful to have people around me who I am forevermore be grateful to.