I'm Just Gonna Run Right Through The Rain

SO my previous post is kinda depressing although I wasn't depressed when I wrote it so I'm going to change the mood of this blog a little more cheerful by being myself with is being random and overly obsessed over food. Everyone should have a list of things to do in life don't they? #YOLO! You wouldn't want to spend your life doing nothing worth remembering ain't it? I've been thinking of it for a while now and this is a list of the stuff I want to make sure I did it before I die.

• Meet Taylor Swift.
  I just hope she will come to Malaysia one day or if I got the money I shall go attend one of her concerts and take a picture with her.
  
  
  
  
  
• Skydiving
  One of the proudest moment of my life was when I jump off the ledge on Kawarau Bridge but hey now I want to jump from the sky lolol. It's kinda odd that I am afraid of heights but I like this sort of activities.
  
  
  
  
  
• Own a chocolate factory
  This is kinda a random thing when I was eating Beryls and I want to own a chocolate factory. Chocolate bring joy to people and it's almost the same as being a Santa lolol.
  
  
  
  
  
• Get Zooey Deschanel to sign a DVD of (500) Days of Summer
  That movie has been my obsession ever since I first heard of it and I've been watching it over and over and over again for countless times. It's kinda a depressing movie but Zooey's eyes is too enchanting to look away.
  
  
  
  
  
• Live in my dream home
  I want a normal house but I must have a room to display all my books and figurines lolol so everytime when I go into the room I can remember how awesome my youth moments was.
  
  
  

  
  
• Have Park So Yeon autograph all my T-ARA's albums
  She is the so enchanting I actually got influenced into Korean shows and songs. But again I ain't a major K-Pop fan. I only listen to my sweet So Yeon and watch Running Man.
  
  
  
  
  
• Travel the world
  Who wants to spend their life at the same place? I want to go everywhere! But the places I MUST go is Paris, Akihabara, Rome, Austria, Berlin and so so so so many other places.
  
  
  
  
  
• Attend my friends' wedding
  We are friends since primary school for sure I want to be there at their proudest moments.
  
  
  

  
  
• Snow
  I've always love snow the moment I knew of it's existence. You can't blame me for longing for snow so much since I live in a country with eternal summer all year round.
  
  
  
  
  

  There are loads more stuff I wish to do but I can't think of them at this moment so yea that's pretty much it for now. And Karine thank you so much for being there for me during my ups and downs and I am saying this in public now,  you are awesome lolol
  

  

  This is the only pic I have with you so sad D:

  
  

  
  

Why Does It Feels So Good But Hurts So Bad?

I don't really reveal my life to everyone, particularly about my family.  I think there is like only one person who knows my relationship with my family. I find it ironic that I don't reveal anything to anyone about my family but now I'm posting in a public blog to anonymous readers. But yea I'm kinda ironic. Iron man LOLOL

So I went to NatCon recently and we had a lot of sharing sessions and usually those sessions are extremely long and emotional and not related to NatCon lololol but nonetheless it made me realize everyone has their own story. So don't ever be too quick to judge people unless you know the full story. Here is my story yay!

The following paragraphs may sound sad and depressing and not me but trust me I'm typing this with a smile on my face. Life is too short to get depressed so yay!

Have you ever have someone hating you every second of your life? Finding faults with you although you just kept quiet all day? Thinking a nice thing you did as a secret evil plot? Looking at you as though you are the son of the devil? Still hate you no matter you try your best to be nice or just try your best to be ignorant?
Yeap I felt that ever since form 5. And guess what? The person who hates me all the time is none other than... my very own mother. But hey everyone keep telling me a mother can NEVER hate her children. I always thought I was wrong and hope things between me and her would be better after time but 3 years later nothing change. It only got worse. The only thing that can make me not hate her and just be ignorant is because she is my mother. Among my 2 sisters I felt I treat my mother better but yet again she still hates me the most. Everytime I come home during my holiday my mother always tell me to get lost and not come home. The only reason I come home now is to meet my friends yay! I can't blame my mother entirely. She suffers from mild schizophrenia and needs medication to sleep. I just hope it's just the schizophrenia talking and deep down inside I hope she.. Nope I'm lying to myself if I say I hope deep down inside I hope she still loves me. Things have gotten so terrible that I can't even say a word to her anymore. If I do it would escalate to an argument and I'll just feel worse and I'm tired of all the fights. If I continue fighting with her I might be pushing myself to the edge and be suicidal. But no worries I am fine now. I've learned how blissful ignorance can be. I know life is too short to get sad so yay I'm not letting this affect me in any way possible. Yay!

My dad on the other hand is someone I can really look up to. My dad is someone who really really really kept things to himself. I'll honestly say everyone I know about my dad was from my aunt or my grandma who tell me his stories when he was young. My dad is really artistic. He wanted to pursue his dreams but in the end he had to help my grandpa and work as a foreman. He sacrificed his dream just to help the family. He is someone who is really hardworking and although he is quite distant from us by being quiet he will always work hard to ensure we are taken cared of. He really loves exotic animals and now he has his own zoo ahahahah. It's actually a pet shop but if you see the amount of animals there you would think it's a zoo as well. Dad I know you won't ever read this and it would be insanely awkward if I tell you this face to face but I love you and thank you for all you have done. I will work hard and make sure I can take care of you when I'm older.

I have an elder sister who is currently interning in New Zealand. She is someone I can really talk and relate to although sometimes we don't see eye to eye at times. She is as hardworking as my dad and as responsible as well. If she joined AIESEC i think she would be on her way to be an entrepreneur now lolol.
My younger sister on the other hand is the complete opposite of my elder sis. She is hardworking and responsible as well but she is so so so fragile lololol. My elder sis is someone really tough and only the death of our pets can break her down. My younger sis on the other hand can cry easily. Well she used to be able to cry easily but now she's tougher. After my elder sis left for New Zealand we gotten closer and yea my dad and her are the only family I can go home to when I have my holidays.

I'll be honest and I'll admit I did not cry when both my grandpa passed away. I was closer to my dad's side grandpa. He used to fetch me home everyday from kindergarten and buy me a red bean paste pau which is why I love them so much even now. I think I was too young when he passed away. Now I am feeling sad as I recalled those moments with him. Wherever you are now grandpa know that I love you and I'm thankful for taking care of me so much when I was young.

The most important member of my family is my otter. Why? My otter is able to unite my whole family. Both my sisters had something to go home to. Everytime when I go home and hear his squeal I felt so happy and welcomed. Now he is gone and I've lost my reason to go home to. I did not cry when my grandparents passed away but I cry when my otter passed away. I took care of him since he was a pup for 7 years and I couldn't even be with him when he is gone. I miss my otter so much.

Putting aside all the sadness, I've gotten a job at Tao yay! It's an insanely tough job but I will take it on so I can earn for an exchange. Okay I should be getting back to my work for AIESEC.

Good Night.

I've never felt so proud to be part of an organization

xoxo

Won't Let It Show

I always do random things for random people and ironically I am always the one who gets left out. But then again I do those things without expecting anything in return. I do it just because I want to. I should have become Santa Claus but then again I can't get fat so I'll most probably freeze to death in the North Pole.

Two days until home! :D But I'll only be home for like a total of 7 days if I got my job. So much for the holidays.

I miss my otter

We were Both Young When I First Saw You

Taylor Swift got a new video out! This by far is the best video I've ever seen. Why? Because it just shows how innocent and sweet were our childhood. Does this video reminds you of the days when you were in high school? Do you remember the first time you had your first crush? Now if you think back you must have felt so.... immature? Do you remember how blissful were those times? How little worry we have and how carefree we were?

Who did you think of when you read this?

Bloom

How does being a Chinese makes you smarter than anyone? The people of my Uni have a perception that all Chinese are smart and the Chinese who can speak English properly are practically geniuses. I am a Chinese and I can speak English decently which makes everyone thinks I'm a super genius which makes things awfully awkward when they ask me for help and I have no idea how to help them which made me feel like a total moron. If you happens to read this please do not lower my self esteem more by asking me to teach you on engineering subjects. I'm good in a lot of stuff but engineering subjects isn't one of it LOL. I just add a LOL to make my sentence sound less depressing.

It's been so long since I posted here. I still find it amusing that the reason I started this blog is to post my random presents I make for people and hoping my blog will be so famous that someone will notice me and give me a chance to make it big and overthrow S&J as the gift shop giant but here I am now posting my random ranting in this blog.

So here is rant #193:

It has been an insanely busy month. This is the first time in two weeks I get to sit at my desk at my hostel and just stone. I have my finals and after finals a conference and after the conference a project and after that I have my studies to catch up and after that I have to save the world and after that I have to stop an evil gummy bear from devouring everyone and after that the year ends and I finally get to have a slight time off before I begin my third year of uni. Okay just kidding, I don't have to save the world but my year ahead will be busy and if I'm able to prevail through all of it I am sure it'll bring a extremely positive impact to my future.

And I just realize I don't really understand people. I mean yea i got loads of friends and all but I don't really understand them all which is kinda the reason I am not able to form a proper relationship with the people around me which makes me feel depressed at times but I eat too much sugar to feel depressed which made me hyper all the time which makes people think whenever I keep quiet I am moody or some sort. Perhaps when I finally meet someone who acts and think the same way I do I'll have someone I can relate to.

And yayy my blog have reached 9099 views. Here is some random pictures to end this post.

brsb and brs decided to keep pikachu a hostage in bm so I came back to ump alone

this really surprised me. in a good way of course

explore penang and also walk in a mall for 7 hours lolol

one of my aims in life

bgs will replace pikachu

pikachu shall keep my albums safe

#YOLO

i LOVEEEEE being in a beach

a reason people call me random

I'm waiting to be enchanted by you if you ever come to Malaysia

How about no?

finals ahead. god bless