Superstar

Three nights ago while trying to finish up the homeworks I've been putting on hold I stumbled upon a hotlink contest. If I post pictures with a given theme I will stand a chance to win tickets to see Taylor Swift in Australia. I was so excited and happy when I followed the instagram account and there weren't much people joining. I felt I stood a chance. I was so hopeful until an hour ago I read the terms and condition. My photos have to gain likes in order to win. Now I'm feeling hopeless because the most likes I've ever gotten on my instagram is 31 likes and it was a picture of potatoes. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WITH THE PICTURES WITH 1k LIKES? D: So now I'm feeling hopeless and I seek god to give me a chance to see Taylor Swift. It is one of the things I want to do before I die and I have a feeling this might be my only chance to meet her. SO to those who still read my blog I thank you and if you happens to have instagram please look me up ljing_brs and like my photos. You dont have to follow me if you don't want to. Just help me get closer to my dream.

One of my most liked photos on insta

I want to see her in a concert rather than on youtube or tv

So please help this kid realize his dream.Thank you all oh so very very much.

Chasing Relentlessly

I am taking my last English subject for my course so it's kinda depressing that I won't get to do fun homework. HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE TWO MORE YEARS OF PURE ENGINEERING SUBJECTS?! Oh well I might as well enjoy English as much as I can before I say good bye... FOREVER.

One of my homework ( it's the first week and I have homework d -.-) was to write an essay on how did I end up on this path. How did I went from being a kid watching Pokemon all the time to the kid studying electrical engineering.

So this is kinda my essay.

 I am a Chinese but I do not know Mandarin. My dad had a thing against chinese-educated people so he sent me to a national school. The only chinese language I know is Hokkien, which is an informal dialect. This situation can be seen as a blessing and a curse. I find it a blessing because I wouldn't be who I am now. It is also a curse as it made me an outcast. People tend to discriminate me because of my inability to speak Mandarin. Nonetheless, I am learning Mandarin now and I am determined to at least be able to speak Mandarin by the time I graduate.
  I've been studying science ever since high school. My interest lies towards Chemistry and Physics which is why I applied for engineering in the first place. I am a very carefree person. During form four I had a creativity boom. I was good at making cards and presents for birthdays. I felt very happy when I see the joy in a person's eyes when they get my presents. During that phase I aspire to be Santa. I want to bring joy to the world. However being a Santa wouldn't help me survive in this harsh reality we live in thus I applied for chemical engineering but I got electrical engineering instead. Since I am a very carefree person so I accepted my fate and here I am now.

My English homework usually becomes materials for my blog lolol.

Here are some random pictures:

Good Night Peeps!

I Hear Your Heartbeat

So it's been forever since I last posted here.I'm currently having my sem break but I've been busy working part time jobs to earn money so I can go on an exchange programme under AIESEC. It's kinda depressing to see everyone enjoying their sem break by travelling everywhere and eating everything D: but then again I will get to go on a holiday soon enough. What my LC coach told us was true. To take, you gotta give. So i'm giving in my sem break so I can take on an exchange programme and the possibility of seeing snow. Sem break ends in about two weeks and I still have a week of work D: on the bright side I'm back in BM so I get to eat all my favourite fooooooood.

working on a new project!

somehow the malay food in penang is wayyyyy more awesome than pahang. potatoes ftw!

A new semester approaches and I hope I can keep to my expectations and give most of my time for my studies and AIESEC and take as much as I can from it. so Yayy!

I'm Just Gonna Run Right Through The Rain

SO my previous post is kinda depressing although I wasn't depressed when I wrote it so I'm going to change the mood of this blog a little more cheerful by being myself with is being random and overly obsessed over food. Everyone should have a list of things to do in life don't they? #YOLO! You wouldn't want to spend your life doing nothing worth remembering ain't it? I've been thinking of it for a while now and this is a list of the stuff I want to make sure I did it before I die.

• Meet Taylor Swift.
  I just hope she will come to Malaysia one day or if I got the money I shall go attend one of her concerts and take a picture with her.
  
  
  
  
  
• Skydiving
  One of the proudest moment of my life was when I jump off the ledge on Kawarau Bridge but hey now I want to jump from the sky lolol. It's kinda odd that I am afraid of heights but I like this sort of activities.
  
  
  
  
  
• Own a chocolate factory
  This is kinda a random thing when I was eating Beryls and I want to own a chocolate factory. Chocolate bring joy to people and it's almost the same as being a Santa lolol.
  
  
  
  
  
• Get Zooey Deschanel to sign a DVD of (500) Days of Summer
  That movie has been my obsession ever since I first heard of it and I've been watching it over and over and over again for countless times. It's kinda a depressing movie but Zooey's eyes is too enchanting to look away.
  
  
  
  
  
• Live in my dream home
  I want a normal house but I must have a room to display all my books and figurines lolol so everytime when I go into the room I can remember how awesome my youth moments was.
  
  
  

  
  
• Have Park So Yeon autograph all my T-ARA's albums
  She is the so enchanting I actually got influenced into Korean shows and songs. But again I ain't a major K-Pop fan. I only listen to my sweet So Yeon and watch Running Man.
  
  
  
  
  
• Travel the world
  Who wants to spend their life at the same place? I want to go everywhere! But the places I MUST go is Paris, Akihabara, Rome, Austria, Berlin and so so so so many other places.
  
  
  
  
  
• Attend my friends' wedding
  We are friends since primary school for sure I want to be there at their proudest moments.
  
  
  

  
  
• Snow
  I've always love snow the moment I knew of it's existence. You can't blame me for longing for snow so much since I live in a country with eternal summer all year round.
  
  
  
  
  

  There are loads more stuff I wish to do but I can't think of them at this moment so yea that's pretty much it for now. And Karine thank you so much for being there for me during my ups and downs and I am saying this in public now,  you are awesome lolol
  

  

  This is the only pic I have with you so sad D:

  
  

  
  

Why Does It Feels So Good But Hurts So Bad?

I don't really reveal my life to everyone, particularly about my family.  I think there is like only one person who knows my relationship with my family. I find it ironic that I don't reveal anything to anyone about my family but now I'm posting in a public blog to anonymous readers. But yea I'm kinda ironic. Iron man LOLOL

So I went to NatCon recently and we had a lot of sharing sessions and usually those sessions are extremely long and emotional and not related to NatCon lololol but nonetheless it made me realize everyone has their own story. So don't ever be too quick to judge people unless you know the full story. Here is my story yay!

The following paragraphs may sound sad and depressing and not me but trust me I'm typing this with a smile on my face. Life is too short to get depressed so yay!

Have you ever have someone hating you every second of your life? Finding faults with you although you just kept quiet all day? Thinking a nice thing you did as a secret evil plot? Looking at you as though you are the son of the devil? Still hate you no matter you try your best to be nice or just try your best to be ignorant?
Yeap I felt that ever since form 5. And guess what? The person who hates me all the time is none other than... my very own mother. But hey everyone keep telling me a mother can NEVER hate her children. I always thought I was wrong and hope things between me and her would be better after time but 3 years later nothing change. It only got worse. The only thing that can make me not hate her and just be ignorant is because she is my mother. Among my 2 sisters I felt I treat my mother better but yet again she still hates me the most. Everytime I come home during my holiday my mother always tell me to get lost and not come home. The only reason I come home now is to meet my friends yay! I can't blame my mother entirely. She suffers from mild schizophrenia and needs medication to sleep. I just hope it's just the schizophrenia talking and deep down inside I hope she.. Nope I'm lying to myself if I say I hope deep down inside I hope she still loves me. Things have gotten so terrible that I can't even say a word to her anymore. If I do it would escalate to an argument and I'll just feel worse and I'm tired of all the fights. If I continue fighting with her I might be pushing myself to the edge and be suicidal. But no worries I am fine now. I've learned how blissful ignorance can be. I know life is too short to get sad so yay I'm not letting this affect me in any way possible. Yay!

My dad on the other hand is someone I can really look up to. My dad is someone who really really really kept things to himself. I'll honestly say everyone I know about my dad was from my aunt or my grandma who tell me his stories when he was young. My dad is really artistic. He wanted to pursue his dreams but in the end he had to help my grandpa and work as a foreman. He sacrificed his dream just to help the family. He is someone who is really hardworking and although he is quite distant from us by being quiet he will always work hard to ensure we are taken cared of. He really loves exotic animals and now he has his own zoo ahahahah. It's actually a pet shop but if you see the amount of animals there you would think it's a zoo as well. Dad I know you won't ever read this and it would be insanely awkward if I tell you this face to face but I love you and thank you for all you have done. I will work hard and make sure I can take care of you when I'm older.

I have an elder sister who is currently interning in New Zealand. She is someone I can really talk and relate to although sometimes we don't see eye to eye at times. She is as hardworking as my dad and as responsible as well. If she joined AIESEC i think she would be on her way to be an entrepreneur now lolol.
My younger sister on the other hand is the complete opposite of my elder sis. She is hardworking and responsible as well but she is so so so fragile lololol. My elder sis is someone really tough and only the death of our pets can break her down. My younger sis on the other hand can cry easily. Well she used to be able to cry easily but now she's tougher. After my elder sis left for New Zealand we gotten closer and yea my dad and her are the only family I can go home to when I have my holidays.

I'll be honest and I'll admit I did not cry when both my grandpa passed away. I was closer to my dad's side grandpa. He used to fetch me home everyday from kindergarten and buy me a red bean paste pau which is why I love them so much even now. I think I was too young when he passed away. Now I am feeling sad as I recalled those moments with him. Wherever you are now grandpa know that I love you and I'm thankful for taking care of me so much when I was young.

The most important member of my family is my otter. Why? My otter is able to unite my whole family. Both my sisters had something to go home to. Everytime when I go home and hear his squeal I felt so happy and welcomed. Now he is gone and I've lost my reason to go home to. I did not cry when my grandparents passed away but I cry when my otter passed away. I took care of him since he was a pup for 7 years and I couldn't even be with him when he is gone. I miss my otter so much.

Putting aside all the sadness, I've gotten a job at Tao yay! It's an insanely tough job but I will take it on so I can earn for an exchange. Okay I should be getting back to my work for AIESEC.

Good Night.

I've never felt so proud to be part of an organization

xoxo